Hey there Star Spotters! Perry Stilton here back from sipping cocktails on private beaches to delve into the nest and peck out the latest Tweet treats from Twitter: The World of the Spotlight-Starved Celebrity..

One of the things I love about the Celebrity Twitterer is the reason they Tweet. The little darlings start by wanting to put the record straight and to show us, the fans, who the real person underneath is but then nearly always just end up confirming the media stereotype of themselves!

@LeonaLewis: “Y do they say ladybird here (in the UK) and ladybug in the US? I guess bug is more correct but bird is prettyerrrrrr!”   Oh my god, is this what’s goes on in Leona Lewis’ head. How boring?  *Yawn. Clicks ‘Unfollow’*

@KanyeWest : sometimes I push the door close button on people running towards the elevator. I just need my own elevator sometimes, my 7 floor sanctuary. Kanye continues to do his best to convince us that he’s a nice person who always thinks of others before his impenetrable ego.

@Wyclef : Taking off on my way to Haiti me and my family About to make the biggest decision of our life. He’s got my vote! Wyclef For President!  Finally, a celebrity passionate enough to really make a difference.

@JustinBieber : alot of u keep saying i dont do flirty tweets anymore …. dont worry u girls are always on my mind…and for those of u at the show tonight…u looked so beautiful i could do nothin but smile   As long as “u girls” don’t come to the house or push through my security guys then, yes, I’m smug enough to say I think you’re all beautiful….even the ugly ones.

@ParisHilton: “You create your future with the power of your intention. Intention is simply the conscious act of determining your future now.” Yes Paris, yeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssss. And it’s through using our noses that we breathe, by opening our eyes that we see and by squeezing that bears poo in the woods. It all seems so OBVIOUS now…. This isn’t a revelation anymore, honey!

@SpencerPratt: “Going to take a bath to wash all these scents of these beautiful women off me. To many different kinds of perfume on me. I smell like macys.” This annoys me so much, that I’m actually stuck for words.

@AliciaKeys: Random funny thought: Soon I wont be able to tie my shoes by myself! LOL! A pregnant Alicia Keys getting too big to tie her shoes is totally different from the reason when Mariah got too big to tie her shoes. Personal Shoe-Fitter anyone?

Since I’ve been away I’ve noticed the Agency has grown and continues to grow faster than a  rumor about  Justin Bieber’s sexuality so a big, enthusiastic ‘Hi’ to those new to the Tweet Dreams column. Drop me a comment or check out the older posts by clicking on the tags.

Love & Peas

Perri x x

Back with more views on the lives of the rich & famous – heeeeeres everyone’s favorite feather ruffler……Perri Stilton!

When celebrities fly onto the Twitter it goes one of two ways. They either tweet once and give up wondering what all the fuss was about or they tweet like their iPhones depend on it. A recent study by Harvard Business School actually showed that 10% of twitterers account for 90% of all tweets. But look, who cares! If they’re one-tweet-wonders or … er… twaddicts(!?) what we get is some priceless gossip to pick at from celebs desperate for their real personalities to be out there and in the eternal spotlight!

KhloeKardashian: “Another day… Another photo shoot! But this time my sisters and I are shooting the cover for our book that’s coming out.” Oh gawd, who’s paying the Kardashian sisters to write a flippin’ book? What’s it about? How to be a whole family of talentless wannabes? Me thinks their only involvement in the book is going to be this (no doubt ‘sexy & windswept’) photoshoot

ladygaga: Just saw three little monsters walk out of a chapel across the street from arena. Pre-monsterball confession or Easter? AMAZING. SO TWISTED. Our favorite crazy lady has finally flipped. It was only a matter of time before the fashion messed with her head.

joejonas: Thank you mom for my Easter basket. Made me and my tummy very happy. For 21 years of age you sound wetter than a day at Wimbledon. Man-up, mommy’s boy!

genesimmons: Went up to the Playboy Mansion w/ Ms Tweed for Easter Egg Hunt — an annual event where former Playmates bring their kids to hunt for eggs.     This has got to be all sorts of wrong. Do the former playmates bring their kids to try and find eggs or so they can see their various half brothers and sisters?!

LindsayLohan:  @samantharonson – is spencer pratt the long lost son of michael lohan #famewhores ? So much bitchiness in one sentence it’s difficult to know where to start but where’s the class in airing your dirty laundry in public. Very sad.

ParisHilton:   “At home getting ready for bed. I love my grandpa, we had such a lovely time with him and dinner tonite. He is the best grandpa in the world!  / “Been here since 6am, so tired. Can’t wait to finish and get home to my puppies. “    /    “I love deep tissue massages. So relaxing. Gonna go take a bubble bath now.” / “At my parents house watching a movie with Tinkerbell. She is such a cutie.” It’s hard to believe that Paris is 29 years old and mostly famous for making a sex tape. Grandpas, puppies, bubble baths, more puppies – Paris lives the life of a seven year old. She quite literally loves everyone and everything!

Until next time, my friends. Love to hear you views in the forums or comment here.

Love & Peas

Perri x

Hey Tweet Dreamers! Perri Stilton back with more rumblings from the fame hungry belly of Hollyweird.

I’ll kick off with a few anecdotes I heard over dinner the other night. Now, it’s the norm in Hollywood to say after meeting a star, however briefly, that you are great friends with them and then continue with story about them that is probably handed down through countless Chinese whispers but I got these little exclusive gems direct from a real legend in the movie industry so keep them to yourselves.

This guy was telling me some pretty wild stories from a couple of his visits to the Playboy Mansion in his slightly younger days and found himself discussing pick-up lines with the lothario himself, Hugh Hefner, to get some tips. And Hef’s favorite line? “My name is Hugh Hefner.” LOL!

He was also with another of his famous friends Nicole Kidman when she was honored with the 2,211th star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 2003. The normally strong, independent Aussie whispered in his ear later “I’ve never been so excited to have people walk all over me for the rest of my life!”.

Last one was about Russell Crowe who worked briefly (like any struggling actor) as a waiter. One day, a customer (an American woman who Russell found extremely annoying) ordered a cup of decaffeinated coffee. She was soon upset to see her waiter appear with a rather unexpected beverage. “This,” she crossly pointed out, “is just a cup of boiling water.” Crowe’s reply (for which he was immediately fired) “Lady, when we decaffeinate something in Australia, we don’t f**k around.”

OK, you’re gonna get me in trouble so on to this week’s tweets and this time, direct from the birdies’ mouths…

LindsayLohan: “Don’t most readers like the drama, rather than the happy ending? *Then again, there’s a reason i’m NOT a reader.”Don’t most actresses like drama too? *Maybe that’s the reason Lindsay is NOT an actress.

KimKardashian: “I feel like I am getting a cold, I will not let this happen to me!”Sadly, Kim, you can’t hire someone to be ill for you – celebrities are human too, remember?

Keshasuxx (Ke$ha): “okok. so ive never done any naked pics.. lol . that shits fake. thats not me. total bs. shes hot tho. n getting laid. good for that girl.Ke$ha. types. like. an. idiot. but I like her stance on tackling sex tape rumors.

RickyMartin: #quote Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King Jr. then a few days later…..

Whats going on gang?I’m doing great!Stronger than ever!I’m here relaxing @ home enjoying ur messages!I feel the love!Thanx for all!peace Ricky Martin, now the iPad. Is anything not coming out this week?

theboygeorge (Boy George): I’m so gay too but it feels wonderful! Boy George finally comes out too.

mariahcarey: Be clear..If anyone who works for me (even if we’re kool)trys to “april fool” me they are so fired. Whoever says Mariah’s got over her diva status needs to get over themselves. She’s all about the fun!

adamlambert: Aaaaand yes, I kissed Kesha. It was fun. I hope future interviewers review these tweets. If not, they’re t**ts. Hahaha. We luurve a bit of juicy gossip but I thought you were gay?

JimCarrey: I think it was me who said, “Boredom is for those who are afraid to masturbate.” Jim provides an alternative to the long school holidays

Love to hear from you guys too so press the comment button at the top of the article.

Love & Peas

Perri x x

Stalking celebrities has never been so much fun since Twitter flew into our lives but with so many celebs to keep track of these days you need Hot Gossip’s very own star encyclopaedia and general feather ruffler, Perri Stilton, to do the hard work for you and feed you the best celebrity tweets of the week.

Hi Perri Stilton here! I get sick of trashy gossip mags never giving you the true picture about what’s going on a week after it’s happened. I peck out the tweets that give you a first-hand snoop direct into LALAland and the people that think they revolve around it!  Oh, and don’t blame the grammatical and/or spelling errors on me. These tweets are straight from the fingers of the famous folks because (in case you didn’t know already) you don’t gots to be edumacated to make it big in dis town.

The big twitter bust-up last week between female US rocker, Courtney Love and British singer / social media addict, Lily Allen, all started when Love accused Allen of putting a block on all other stars from wearing Chanel to the BRIT awards last month (the usual thing!?) and the tussling twosome have been locked in a tweet battle ever since.  Highlights Lowlights have included…..

lilyroseallen :  i would never fight with her, as a rule i don’t pick on crazy old ladies. Lily sharpens her claws!

courtneyloveUK : hissy attitude towards me and my posse her stuttering response was how could i insult her re chanel “lock” that was a COMPLIMENT! Slight backtrack here me thinks!

courtneyloveUK : i cant believe someone who did massive amounts of cocaine at my house and was thrown out blamed me….when she did about a kilo with my daughter asleep upstairs, and had to be phsycially removed…when she came in her room asking for BEER… been convenient to blame me, lying that i gave her a drug ive never even taken and i specifically said not to take [drugs] in my house, if Kate Moss can abide?why not lily?           Things get ugly when Courtney accuses Allen of taking drugs in her house with her daughter upstairs!? Yuck.

lilyroseallen        : sorry, that was mean. enuff of these juvenile musings , i should never have risen to the bait. silly lily. It’s easy to take on a grown-up attitude just after you’ve posted this unflattering ‘twitpic’ of Courtney, Lily!

courtneyloveUK : i am NOT pretty and heres my secret I DONT CARE! then Courtney found a shot of Allen in concert, dubbed ‘lily-allen-and-an-interesting-choice-of-pants’ and posted it with the comment, “never mind dear, love yourself!”

By Wednesday it was just getting boring.

Moving on…… New queen of the bubblegum anthem Ke$ha (Kristan Bell) naively criticized pop royalty this week by bitching that Britney of the Spears cons her paying public by miming shows.  Horror upon horror that someone other than the gutter gossips criticize her Highness and Twitter went into a flutter with Sam Lufti – (remember him as Britney evil ex-manager & public enemy No.1) hilariously tweeting……

samlutfi : @keshasuxx Don’t try to knock Britney Spears to try to make headlines. Might as well just shave your head and hang out with me for the week          ……along thousands of others bombarding Ke$ha’s twitter page with venom. Ke$ha’s knight in shining armor came from an unlikely expected source……

courtneyloveUK : i really think i could mentor @Keshasuxx given a week and id be willing to do it, i dont think LinPerry would touch her , i see a spark tho      when i say ‘knight in shining armor’ i mean old witch ready to tell stories of her drunken conquests.

Other random tweets that made me titter this week were these two : -

taylorswift13 : Management meeting. We got a giant new conference room table. My mom and my manager are talking on walkie talkies from opposite ends of it.   Lol!
misskellyo :  just finnished wrighting my ‘Closer’ column! Wiv speling lik that we ca’nt wait too reid Kelly Osbourne’s column.
misskellyo :  Sorry still half asleep i meant writing    And she wrote it half asleep!? it gets better and better.

Well, that’s it for this week, my hot gossipers. I’ll be back soon. Feel free to add your comments by pressing the ‘Comment’ button at the top & of course, don’t forget to follow everyone’s favorite glamorous assistant, Amanda Ruis, on Twitter (@Tinseldiva).

Perri x x