Hey Tweet Dreamers! Perri Stilton back with more rumblings from the fame hungry belly of Hollyweird.

I’ll kick off with a few anecdotes I heard over dinner the other night. Now, it’s the norm in Hollywood to say after meeting a star, however briefly, that you are great friends with them and then continue with story about them that is probably handed down through countless Chinese whispers but I got these little exclusive gems direct from a real legend in the movie industry so keep them to yourselves.

This guy was telling me some pretty wild stories from a couple of his visits to the Playboy Mansion in his slightly younger days and found himself discussing pick-up lines with the lothario himself, Hugh Hefner, to get some tips. And Hef’s favorite line? “My name is Hugh Hefner.” LOL!

He was also with another of his famous friends Nicole Kidman when she was honored with the 2,211th star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 2003. The normally strong, independent Aussie whispered in his ear later “I’ve never been so excited to have people walk all over me for the rest of my life!”.

Last one was about Russell Crowe who worked briefly (like any struggling actor) as a waiter. One day, a customer (an American woman who Russell found extremely annoying) ordered a cup of decaffeinated coffee. She was soon upset to see her waiter appear with a rather unexpected beverage. “This,” she crossly pointed out, “is just a cup of boiling water.” Crowe’s reply (for which he was immediately fired) “Lady, when we decaffeinate something in Australia, we don’t f**k around.”

OK, you’re gonna get me in trouble so on to this week’s tweets and this time, direct from the birdies’ mouths…

LindsayLohan: “Don’t most readers like the drama, rather than the happy ending? *Then again, there’s a reason i’m NOT a reader.”Don’t most actresses like drama too? *Maybe that’s the reason Lindsay is NOT an actress.

KimKardashian: “I feel like I am getting a cold, I will not let this happen to me!”Sadly, Kim, you can’t hire someone to be ill for you – celebrities are human too, remember?

Keshasuxx (Ke$ha): “okok. so ive never done any naked pics.. lol . that shits fake. thats not me. total bs. shes hot tho. n getting laid. good for that girl.Ke$ha. types. like. an. idiot. but I like her stance on tackling sex tape rumors.

RickyMartin: #quote Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King Jr. then a few days later…..

Whats going on gang?I’m doing great!Stronger than ever!I’m here relaxing @ home enjoying ur messages!I feel the love!Thanx for all!peace Ricky Martin, now the iPad. Is anything not coming out this week?

theboygeorge (Boy George): I’m so gay too but it feels wonderful! Boy George finally comes out too.

mariahcarey: Be clear..If anyone who works for me (even if we’re kool)trys to “april fool” me they are so fired. Whoever says Mariah’s got over her diva status needs to get over themselves. She’s all about the fun!

adamlambert: Aaaaand yes, I kissed Kesha. It was fun. I hope future interviewers review these tweets. If not, they’re t**ts. Hahaha. We luurve a bit of juicy gossip but I thought you were gay?

JimCarrey: I think it was me who said, “Boredom is for those who are afraid to masturbate.” Jim provides an alternative to the long school holidays

Love to hear from you guys too so press the comment button at the top of the article.

Love & Peas

Perri x x

Hi, Perri Stilton here, back with more of twaddle from Twitter’s celebrity nest!

First off, I have to tell you a story I was told at the opening of LA Fashion Week last week that gives you a little insight into the absurdity of the entertainment industry in this town and how nobody really has a clue!

I was at one of the fashion after-show parties with my friend, the fashion-loving & sassy Amanda Ruis from the Agency, and, as you can imagine, she was in her element, introducing me to people I probably should have heard of before and talking about collections I probably should have seen before (I could beat her in a high-level celebrity exam but here she had me licked!).  She was so excited to meet Philip Lorca di Corcia, apparently “one of the greatest and most enigmatic photographers playing in both art and fashion photography over the last decade” (hard to disagree after ‘googling’ him) and over a glass of Dom Perignon he was telling us about the dismissive relationship his has towards the fluff of photographing celebs.

This is how the story went and try & imagine diCorcia in his best world-weary New York voice:

“The way it happened was…I was coming back from someplace, and they called me up, and asked “Would you like to photograph Sigourney Weaver?” and I said “Oh, alright”.  And they said…”So, what do you want to do? How d’ya wanna shoot it?” …and I was really working on something else, and I hate that question anyway…

So I was irritated and so I said, ‘I don’t know, I’ll photograph her with a f**king chicken!!’ and the editor turns to me & goes “That’s brilliant!” (cue flirty laughter from Amanda – lol!)

….And then i find this on the internet from his collection!…..LOL!

Anyhoo, back to the fluffy celebrities we know & love…. But again controversial British comedy actor Russell Brand shows us living in LA proves that it’s not just Alice who’s living in some weird Wonderland.

Russell Brand: “A surgeon who specialises in gender reversal just told me I’d make a good woman and gave me his card, like it was a haircut.” This kind of crazy nonsense happens everyday – You’ll get used to it, Mr Brand.

Jessica Simpson: “I’m thinking about getting a pet pig. Does this mean I’ll have to give up pork?” Dunno, but if we buy your album will you give up singing?

Ke$ha: “DAMNIT forgotTOBRUSHMYTEETH AGAIN. I smell like poo. Bummer.” Somedays I just wish Twitter had never been invented. Simply gross.

John Mayer: If I wanted to make a big impression my first day in prison, I’d walk up and punch the smallest, oldest dude in the face. With his latest outbursts about Jessica Simpson being “sexual napalm” and this pearl of wisdom either John Mayer is on some sorta deathwish or his publicist is his pet pig.

britneyspears: New BS Alert! See what bulls#!t The National Enquirer is printing now: www.britneyspears.com/rumors Britney is biting back with her very own method of outing the rubbish that’s printed about her. Good on her, I’d say.

Please leave your thoughts about the week’s celebrity news by pressing the “COMMENT” button next to the Tweet Dreams headline. Until next time, gadget!

loads of love

Perri x

Stalking celebrities has never been so much fun since Twitter flew into our lives but with so many celebs to keep track of these days you need Hot Gossip’s very own star encyclopaedia and general feather ruffler, Perri Stilton, to do the hard work for you and feed you the best celebrity tweets of the week.

Hi Perri Stilton here! I get sick of trashy gossip mags never giving you the true picture about what’s going on a week after it’s happened. I peck out the tweets that give you a first-hand snoop direct into LALAland and the people that think they revolve around it!  Oh, and don’t blame the grammatical and/or spelling errors on me. These tweets are straight from the fingers of the famous folks because (in case you didn’t know already) you don’t gots to be edumacated to make it big in dis town.

The big twitter bust-up last week between female US rocker, Courtney Love and British singer / social media addict, Lily Allen, all started when Love accused Allen of putting a block on all other stars from wearing Chanel to the BRIT awards last month (the usual thing!?) and the tussling twosome have been locked in a tweet battle ever since.  Highlights Lowlights have included…..

lilyroseallen :  i would never fight with her, as a rule i don’t pick on crazy old ladies. Lily sharpens her claws!

courtneyloveUK : hissy attitude towards me and my posse her stuttering response was how could i insult her re chanel “lock” that was a COMPLIMENT! Slight backtrack here me thinks!

courtneyloveUK : i cant believe someone who did massive amounts of cocaine at my house and was thrown out blamed me….when she did about a kilo with my daughter asleep upstairs, and had to be phsycially removed…when she came in her room asking for BEER… been convenient to blame me, lying that i gave her a drug ive never even taken and i specifically said not to take [drugs] in my house, if Kate Moss can abide?why not lily?           Things get ugly when Courtney accuses Allen of taking drugs in her house with her daughter upstairs!? Yuck.

lilyroseallen        : sorry, that was mean. enuff of these juvenile musings , i should never have risen to the bait. silly lily. It’s easy to take on a grown-up attitude just after you’ve posted this unflattering ‘twitpic’ of Courtney, Lily!

courtneyloveUK : i am NOT pretty and heres my secret I DONT CARE! then Courtney found a shot of Allen in concert, dubbed ‘lily-allen-and-an-interesting-choice-of-pants’ and posted it with the comment, “never mind dear, love yourself!”

By Wednesday it was just getting boring.

Moving on…… New queen of the bubblegum anthem Ke$ha (Kristan Bell) naively criticized pop royalty this week by bitching that Britney of the Spears cons her paying public by miming shows.  Horror upon horror that someone other than the gutter gossips criticize her Highness and Twitter went into a flutter with Sam Lufti – (remember him as Britney evil ex-manager & public enemy No.1) hilariously tweeting……

samlutfi : @keshasuxx Don’t try to knock Britney Spears to try to make headlines. Might as well just shave your head and hang out with me for the week          ……along thousands of others bombarding Ke$ha’s twitter page with venom. Ke$ha’s knight in shining armor came from an unlikely expected source……

courtneyloveUK : i really think i could mentor @Keshasuxx given a week and id be willing to do it, i dont think LinPerry would touch her , i see a spark tho      when i say ‘knight in shining armor’ i mean old witch ready to tell stories of her drunken conquests.

Other random tweets that made me titter this week were these two : -

taylorswift13 : Management meeting. We got a giant new conference room table. My mom and my manager are talking on walkie talkies from opposite ends of it.   Lol!
misskellyo :  just finnished wrighting my ‘Closer’ column! Wiv speling lik that we ca’nt wait too reid Kelly Osbourne’s column.
misskellyo :  Sorry still half asleep i meant writing    And she wrote it half asleep!? it gets better and better.

Well, that’s it for this week, my hot gossipers. I’ll be back soon. Feel free to add your comments by pressing the ‘Comment’ button at the top & of course, don’t forget to follow everyone’s favorite glamorous assistant, Amanda Ruis, on Twitter (@Tinseldiva).

Perri x x